feels like spring

Phew... glad to have some more distance from all of that compounded stress.Dont get me wrong, life is still pretty stressful around here, but we are dealing much better :)

We sleep more, my energy levels get better and my ability to cope with pain and stress also gets better with each passing day. I had the hyster in june2010. I've been in pain ever since, in more ways than one. I am feeling happy, with a spring in my step right now, but mainly because I limp from all of my pelvis/lumbar/sacrum issues ;o) but STILL, I feel springy and ready to start clean this year again. Its a wonderful feeling after such a tornado of a two years!!! My little miracle is 2 1/2 and 35 lbs. He talks in full sentences now and loves his dad and copies his every move. Our Tristan fits right in. Its more like having a friend around the house now than it was when he was a baby. I must admit its kinda heartbreaking to no longer call him a baby. But he is the biggest boy now, in such an intelligent and socially aware kinda way. He is awesome... soooo much smarter and healthier and stronger than his daddy or I ever could have expected. I feel so blessed, complete and full. I got the kid I always wanted with the man who always wanted us and we truly appreciate every moment. Its so different when its your only child, so different for us; he is our miracle... we don't get mad as easily and the temptation to be a lazy parent is just not present at all. Its different because we have this engraved appreciation in our hearts and on our wrinkled and pre-aged faces... grief has taught us patience which has taught us love which is now showing us about charity and we have felt the warmth of so much compassion. So many wonderful things have come from enduring a few challenges. It just feels like spring :)
love,
lynsie
(p.s. Dead batteries, anxiety, stress, time constraints, not wanting to complain too much, etc- These are the reasons I have not been posting. I had to avoid the blog for a while... it has too much emotional pull for me, sometimes. Life has a way of doing things in cycles. Feels like a new cycle for me, we shall see...)

Moms surgery day/ my b day

Today my mom had a total hysterectomy with ovaries removed as well. she is pretty young, and it is a pretty intense surgery, but it will save her life. She has had severe endometriosis for nearly her entire life. I am so happy that my experiences and influence could make a positive impact in her life.

There are so many alternatives to surgery, and yet sometimes surgery is the best choice. It can be scary, and there are no sure answers, but you can't just hope that it will go away. I hope that anyone who is suffering from this, or other chronic pain conditions, has the bravery they need to face the challenges and fears and fight back for their health and well being! It's just not worth waiting to go to the doctor... be brave and be healthy! I am proud of my mom :)

love,
lynsie

I woke up this morning at five, with a big happy smile. I made breakfast, packed Adam a lunch, kissed him goodbye for his shift, did yoga, and finished a craft project. Now I have about thirty minutes until Tristan wakes up. It's a good life!

On a more scholarly note: I applied for my pell grant and scholarships on Friday. I guess I have a 3.975 GPA so UVU is offering me some pretty great scholarships. I had no clue my GPA was that high. My college transcripts are sophmore level with nothing but A's and two A-'s. Somehow I never really noticed that I was doing so well in school. I had visited the technology dept a while ago before deciding on nursing as a degree. I got an offer from the women in technology program... If I wanna change degrees. I just cant think of a good technology career field for me?

I suppose all of you stay at home mommies are feeling the need to finish college and get a career to help ends meet, I know I am. I keep asking myself, "What classes will actually fit my life AND help me earn a degree that will give me a job that pays enough to cover the student loans, that I will inevitibley take out, and the monthly payments after I graduate?". I promise I will let you all know when I figure that one out. ;)

Maybe Ill get enough scholarship money to pay for it all :) ???

I am afraid to make to big of a commitment right now. Is that foolish of me? I went to a few different massage therapy schools on thursday last week and checked them out. I almost signed up for one of them. ALMOST... but then when it all was about to be said and done they laid the schedule out to me in detail and it just wouldnt work. I mapped it out with adams schedule, and I would need 57 school days of babysitters for Tristan. It is at bedtime too... and I just don't want to miss that many bedtimes. So I decided to wait. Massage school is something I will do, someday. I just want it to be the right timing, so I can get the most out of it. The one good thing that came out of it all was finding out how great my grades are and the grants I qualify for.

I think right now I'll just sign up for a few Internet classes and a weekend class. That will probably be my first semester back, after having baby. After all, I only get one!!!

Which reminds me of another movie I like. Here is the story:

Yesterday Tristan and I watched the movie UP.about seven times in a row. I had never seen it before, and watching a movie with a two year old is a marathon, not a sprint ;)

So, the third time through I finally saw the part where they find out they can't have any children. Then I saw the part when he realizes he can be a father figure to the little boy. I totally cried! It was touching, and charming, and close to my heart.

I looked over at Tristan and recalled what a miracle that little guy really is, and held him tight, with renewed joy and comfort in the fact that he is my son.

Love,
Lynsie

PS: Are you my facebook friend? I guess I erased a bunch of people after a virus thing? Anywhoo, I post pics of the Fam and updates there a lot more than I do here on blogger, so add me or comment and I can add you silly! =)