"okay, okay"

tristan went to daycare today for the very first time.

he is exactly 75 weeks old, or 17 months old, or 530 days old, if you wanna get technical... anyways, he is pretty old to have never been to daycare or nursery before.

so i decided i would like a gym membership with daycare, but i was not willing to do a monthly fee, i had to pay for it all upfront. i just don't like associating my workout with money, it makes it harder to enjoy gym when i have a monthly bill, i swear!


so i decided to sell my road bike. don't get me wrong, i thought a lot about selling that bike... i wondered if i would EVER get another road bike like that again? but i know how important working out is to my health, i know what it can do for my mind, body and spirit. i know it can make me a better ME! i also think that the daycare would be a great way for little tristan to get socialized and get to play with people his own size!

so i listed the bike in the classifieds;

and waited

and waited

and waited

nothing... which is kinda weird

so i decided to reduce the price of the bike, to the exact amount i bought it for. of course, that was only a hundred bucks less. i didn't expect it to sell real quick... to say the least. but about ten minutes later i got an email, and a few hours later i had sold it to a young girl and her dad. she wants to go pro with cycling someday. she is good, her dad knows about bikes, they seemed excited to have something to do together. it was perfect! and now, i had enough money for the gym! karma? i like to think so :)

so i woke up this morning excited to head over to the gym, but tristan had other plans... he slept in, till 9:40 am! this is unheard of at our house! he is a little "clock" and he always has been. he put adam and i on a schedule the minute he came into this world! needless to say, our schedule was off by a few hours today :o) we worked it out anyways.

we made it to the gym and i was whisked away from tristan and the daycare, causing major separation anxiety, to fill out papers and meet my free personal trainer/tour guide for the hour. we did an evaluation, set goals, talked about nutrition, talked about my surgeries and stuff and then did a nice workout. it was an intro workout, nothing extreme, but it made me feel motivated!

then i headed anxiously back to the daycare, tristan was crying! he was doing this really super sad cry! they said he saw a little kid leave with his mom a minute before and just started bawling! maybe he thought it was supposed to be me coming to get him? it was so tender!

i held him for a minute and he calmed down. he stopped crying and hugged me and patted me on the back while saying, "okay, okay" (like, it's okay, it's okay) it melted my heart to pieces... i love that little boy so much...

we ended the night by playing peek a boo with the shower curtain in the tubby. he laughed his biggest laugh ever and told me stories all about the little ducks on the curtain and the "bub boos" (bubbles) in the tubby. he found every circle in the tub and showed it to me, telling me about it in sign and out loud. he loves circles! he waited until every last drop of water had drained out of the tub before reaching both arms up high and saying, "all done!" after the tub i rocked with him in the chair and we said prayers, then i sang him a lullaby and got ready to tuck him in. he lifted his head off my shoulder and gave me eskimo kisses, then grabbed his soft blanky and nuzzied with it until he fell asleep in his crib.


as i walked away from his room i felt absolutely full. i felt so lucky. i felt really happy. this is what being a mother means to me.

~i was just thinking about how much i liked today, and how i wanted to remember it. that's why i wrote this down. i wonder if tristan will remember today?~

love,

lynsie


(POST EDIT: the next morning when i went in to get tristan he did eskimo kisses first thing! He totally remembered!)

(SECOND POST EDIT: ya, it's gonna be like that... im just gonna start writing again after months of absence and expect you to both forgive me for leaving so rudely and accept me back without questions.)