"...somedays I sit and wish I was a kid again..."

I had to post these pictures and somehow Tristan is already in bed for the night so what better time? (Sorry it has been SO LONG since I posted a pic!)

Today a few friends of mine from WAY back in elementary school came over to my house and shared lunch, laughter, stories, encouraging words, more laughter, cookies and kids. It was so much fun! I haven't laughed like that in so long. Ahhhhhh... I really needed that. Thank goodness for facebook or I'm afraid we would have NEVER done that.

It was so good to think of all the funny things we did, like me rushing to the store to buy a pregnancy test after I kissed a boy, or us putting random fruits and veggies in condoms and sticking them on peoples doorsteps in the middle of the night. (might I add that we were no older than 5th grade doing this!) I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE hanging out with them! For just a moment it made me wish I was a kid again so I could relive some of those moments. For just a moment it actually made me wish I would have made different decisions, treated people differently, recognized TRUE friendship and kept it instead of coldly tossing it aside when blinded by boys/popularity/drugs/my CRAZY mom moving me everywhere... But then I remembered that it is never too late! And, hindsight is always 20/20.

There I was sitting with 3 of my dearest friends, two of us mommies, all of us all grown up. When I was in the 6th grade I would have sworn to you that those three girls would be my friends for my whole life. I am so lucky, and happy, that we could mend the past and come together again. It made me feel young again! I know I am only 26, but this last year of my life has AGED me! I already had a pretty full book of life stories before all of this new stuff. Hanging out with them was like sitting down from my crazy, full time life of hiking up all these hills and mountains and taking a minute to enjoy the amazing view. After all, we EARNED this view! Right!?!

It has been 1 week and 1 day since I found out that I will be having a hysterectomy in June. It is still soaking in. I am sad, but I am hopeful. I just want to be able to feel good again! Not just for me, but for Adam and Tristan too. I have been so sick and in so much pain and I am STILL bleeding after 8 days. I am taking the YAZ continuous, with no placebo pills, just to prevent me from having a period! I have tried so many hormones and this was the lowest dose available. (I am way too sensitive to the higher doses.) We have literally tried every different brand/blend of hormones. I know that having the hysterectomy will not solve every problem, in fact it will bring new and complicated problems of its own.The doc did tell me that he thought I would be able to keep my ovaries. This is what made me feel like I could actually go through with this. If I keep my ovaries they will produce hormones for me for several years, and then I can use homeopathic and herbal things as they loose blood flow over the years instead of artificial hormones. I am nervous and a little unsettled. But, I am open for whatever is going to happen. I guess I just wait and see?

Now, how many times have you repeated that song in my title in your head so far? HAHAHA!

Love,
Lynsie