nothin

I don't have anything that I feel like posting today. I hurt, I am coming off a two month long daily partaking of percocet for pain because they had to delay my surgery for so long. Every single bone in my body hurts, I feel nauseous and hot and cold. I still have pain in my pelvic area, and especially at my incision sites. Adam got home from work today, THANK THE LORD. The last two days where SO HARD. I cried in the bathroom a lot while my mother in law played with Tristan downstairs. I still have to catheter myself every time I pee. I bet you could have gone all day without thinking about that, sorry. I am just tired and I hurt and I don't want to go through withdrawals from a medicine that the lazy doc prescribed me just so he could go on vacation and postpone my surgery for a month. Now today I call the Dr office and ask, "how long am I supposed to be in pain from these surgerys?" The nurse answers, "up to 6 months". I ask, "can you prescribe me something for the pain?" She immediately treats me like I am a drug addict and tells me how addictive percocet is. First of all, I didn't ask for percocet, second of all I wouldn't be in this position if their doctor wouldn't have given me percocets since January and scheduled my surgery for march 17th, and last of all OF COURSE I KNOW THEY ARE ADDICTIVE..... I have been to so many damn funerals, including my own fathers, from deaths related to addiction. I don't want another bottle of percocet so I can get high. I want a pain reliever so I can hold my 7 month old, do the laundry, stand up and sit down without crying and have relief from the pain of having my appendix out, endometriosis burned off the inside of my body, a D&C and fibroid removal. Last time I checked those where legitimate things to hurt from. I am so damn sick of being treated like a drug addict. Maybe 5 years ago when 17 of my classmates died from overdose from heroin or oxycontin nurses and doctors should have been a little more careful who and what they where prescribing but COME ON, I just had major surgery. I just want pain relief. I am sick of being treated like a drug seeker. See, it would have been better if I would have posted nothing at all today. Sorry for the doom and gloom attitude. I promise I will be happy today. I promise.