My NEMESIS

It's true, I have a nemesis. He/she is named Frito and is a black and white collie mix. Frito lives next door, but really Frito lives at my back fence line running back and forth, barking, digging holes and scratching my fence. Sometimes I wonder what this little dog has in mind once it actually makes it into my back yard where my two german shepherds wait hungrily, one of them schutzhund level III trained. This dog entered my life when I was pregnant, and therefore had narcolepsy and NEEDED constant naps. It would run the back fence and get every dog in the neighborhood barking and my tired pregnant hormonal body would call animal control at least 4 times a week. They finally gave me the animal control guys cell phone number. Apparently, Frito is animal control Officer Skinners' nemesis as well. He says he has spent the last 4 years trying to catch Frito. After Tristan was born we all know that he cried 38 hours a day and whenever he actually fell asleep I would fall asleep immediately, on the stairs or in the hallway or sometimes if I was lucky I would make to my bed or a couch. Right about then, Frito would come over and make a visit. My baby would wake up screaming from the dogs barking. We bought shock collars for our dogs, I went to Fritos owners house crying and begging them to keep it on a leash, explaining my situation. But, lo and behold, every day the dog would come again. My nemesis. I have been to court, sworn before a judge, and gave a testimony about this dog. The dogs owner has been issued a total of almost $1,500.00 in fines (not just from me) and yet, today, right now, the damn dog is running my back fence and every dog in the neighborhood is barking. I begged Adam to go outside and take a picture, but somehow since there is a tornado today (what's that all about anyways) he declined. What, oh what, shall I do with my nemesis? I am a true animal lover, but I must admit that I have tried to shoot this dog with my red rider bb gun. PLEASE, don't judge me. My brothers used to shoot me with their red riders all the time, it only hurts a little, mostly it just scares you. Anyways, it's funny, you are allowed to laugh at this post, I am laughing. Two days ago the neighbors put a for sale sign up. Maybe we could all pray that they sell their house quick? Is that bad? I think the icing on the cake of this story is that Saturday it was sunny and beautiful outside. I wanted to take Tristan and the dogs on a walk. (Which is a miracle since I have lived inside in my brown robe since January curled in a ball of pain crying.) I got dressed (BIG DEAL), loaded up Tristan in the jogger, let the dogs into the front yard, put their pokey metal choke chain collars on and was cleaning the lenses of my sunglasses while cringing like gollum from LOTR because it had been so long since I had seen the sun, and about to dig their leashes out of the back of the jogger when Butchy ran across the street about 100 yards in front of an oncoming vehicle. The white minivan pulled over, the windows rolled down, and a FIRE BREATHING DRAGON yelled to me, "DON'T YOU KNOW IT IS ILLEGAL TO HAVE YOUR DOGS OFF THE LEASH!!!" Butch is the most friendly dog on the planet and he galloped to her open window and jumped up and licked her face. I am sure she pooped her pants in fear. He left a scratch on her car. I laughed for about an hour. I am still laughing.